What to Expect the First Year, Second Edition

Customer Reviews

A great reference book, but only YOU know your child best

I was a real doofus when I became a mom at age 38. I didn't know how to change a diaper, give my daughter a bath, or select a wardrobe for her. This book is a great "how to do it" primer for folks like me. HOWEVER, other reviewers echo my thoughts about some of the philosophies contained here. The authors buy into some of the most harmful mindsets of the American culture, such as "children in this country are expected to become independent sooner than in Third World countries." And letting a child cry it out at such a young age probably does more psychological harm than good in the long run. (It's interesting that so many of the "sleep experts" out there didn't use the "cry it out" method on their own kids. Hmmm) So the bottom line is: use what's worth using in this book, but trust your own gut feelings as a parent. Moms have raised kids since the beginning of time without experts. I'd also read Dr. William Sears' work to balance the perspective from this one. Best of luck to all parents out there

Some useful information, but unempathetic to babies

Although this is a thick book with some useful information, I was very uncomfortable with the authors' parenting philosophy. They suggest that people who always respond to their babies' cries are softhearted fools. Instead, they suggest ignoring the baby who is crying with teething pain in the middle of the night, and suggest that if you have a baby who cries a lot you should invest in soundproofing. Some of the information on breastfeeding is dangerously misleading, e.g. the suggestion that mothers limit the amount of time babies spend nursing in the first days. Following this advice is likely to lead to problems establishing a good milk supply, according to lactation consultants and the experts at La Leche League. They also advocate early weaning, saying 3 months is a good age because it's easy to wean then, and for sure you should wean by one year. In addition, suggesting that you can expect certain behaviour at a specific age, in months, is ludicrous! Babies vary enormously in their rates of development, and this kind of month-by-month predictions can cause a lot of anxiety.

good reference but major flaws

This is a good parenting book to have in your library but it should definitely not be the only one. All parenting books have their own bias about co-sleeping and breastfeeding and this one was definitely biased against co-sleeping at all and breastfeeding after the 9th month or so. When I first brought my baby home from the hospital, the only way she would get a decent night's sleep is to sleep with us. Otherwise she cried and fussed the entire night. After two months she was ready to sleep in a cradle but initially we had to adjust our parenting style to include co-sleeping because it was the only thing that would comfort our daughter. If this was the only parenting book I owned I probably would've felt incredibly guilty about having done this--the section of this book that addresses co-sleeping has nothing but negative things to say about it. I found "Good Nights" and "Gentle Baby Care" (perhaps because they were written by attachment parenting advocates) to be very thorough about the topic, with plenty of practical advice.

As noted by other reviewers the book also contains some misleading information about breastfeeding and seems to assume that you'll begin weaning sooner than currently recommended by the govt.

I also found this book to be very poorly organized. Because all babies develop according to their own schedule, it doesn't really make sense to have much of the information organized chronologically. I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" when I was pregnant and they advised you in the beginning not to "read ahead" so I was doing the same with this book until I realized that it wasn't answering most of my questions! I needed a babysitter when my daughter was two months but for some reason that section was stashed in the third month section! Why? So now I have read into the 10-month section even though my daughter is only 3.5 months because I'm wondering if there are other tidbits of information hidden away in there. And I expect I'll have to reread it all again when she's actually 10 months.

Finally, there was some conflicting information. I'm thinking of the alcohol and breastfeeding references in particular. At various points in the book it says to (a) have a single drink rarely if at all and then to wait two hours before nursing if you do have a drink, (b) have a drink just before nursing to "relax", (c) consult a doctor if you find yourself unable to stop at two drinks a day (what happened to the "rare" drink?!). And finally, it referenced no actual studies about the effects of alcohol on a nursing baby. For such a serious topic, it seemed amazing to me that they could have included so much conflicting information and no scientific backup.

And finally, as someone who is using cloth diapers, I was put off by the offhand remark that (to paraphrase) "in your mother's day, diapers were cleaned and boiled and reused and now people simply throw their diapers away." There is a significant percentage of people who actually use cloth diapers but to read this section you would never know it! This was just one of many cases of the authors assuming that everyone does or should do things their way.

All that said, the book did include good information about safety issues and child development and for these reasons I'm glad to have it on hand. The authors must seriously revise this book, however, for future editions.